October 14 2024

HENRY: My experiencing of what I took to be virtual freedom was sincere, but I soon found myself feeling jealous of what I perceived to be superior progress by Claudiu and Kuba. Fortunately I was able to smell something was off quickly and put my hands in my pockets and carried on. However, this undercurrent was still able to define me through to today. […]

It is wonderful to put this to rest. I can see that jealousy of the same variety has been a part of ‘me’ for a very long time [...] 

VINEETO: Hi Henry,

It’s great you have discovered and can admit to what this ‘smelly’ undercurrent is – jealousy and competition are a strong emotional forces. As you said it has been a part of you for a very long time. So now that you identified the trigger which prevents you from fully enjoying and appreciating this moment, you can contemplate it in depth, recognize the pattern and make a conscious choice.

You can first ascertain the facts as far as the habit of comparison/ competition/ jealousy goes. You want to be actually free and someone has made better progress. The fact that it makes you feel jealous could mean that, deep down, you know you are not yet doing everything you can possibly do to achieve your goal.

Therefore, instead of feeling jealous, which is wasting a potent emotional energy, one can easily, with some awareness and common sense, turn this energy into the action of making tangible progress towards your aim. I remember ‘Vineeto’ used imitation, i.e. tried to learn from the successes ‘she’ identified in others at making progress in actualism and thus channelled ‘her’ own emotional energy into being productive, and, of course, added further confidence, enjoyment and appreciation.

You said – “any advantage of progress that Claudiu and Kuba may have was defined purely by my own parameters”.

If your own parameters are merely about “I am better than someone else” then those parameters are well worth looking at and worth reassessing.

If, however, your parameters are that you want to become actually free as soon as possible, then they naturally need to align with pure intent, and then the next action will become obvious to you.

Perhaps it’s a matter of realigning your aim and actions fully with pure intent and follow the guidance of pure intent?

In any case, sitting “on the sidelines” or rationalizing jealousy out of existence will not do the trick, and I congratulate you for somewhat recognizing that. As you say “Plus it’s so much more fun to just jump in rather than sitting in a huff on the sidelines”.

Cheers Vineeto

October 20 2024

VINEETO: If your own parameters are merely about “I am better than someone else” then those parameters are well worth looking at and worth reassessing.

HENRY: I was initially a bit taken aback, but it became clear that that very dynamic was at work in my life. Upon reflection, I could see it was defensive in nature and ultimately served to sustain insecurities.

Since exploring those aspects, things have been ‘coming unstuck,’ and as of yesterday afternoon a ‘christmastime atmosphere’ has become predominant. There is a glow, a sense of magicality, a delight wherever my attention wanders.

VINEETO: Hi Henry,

There is no shame admitting that competition is operating in you – pretty much everyone has this feature of the human condition to a greater or lesser extent. But it is wonderful that you can own up to it and are “exploring those aspects” to the point where things are “coming unstuck” resulting in “a delight wherever my attention wanders”. Well done.

Don’t stop here as competition and rivalry are quite a pertinacious occurrence inherent in the peasant mentality and deserve attention whenever they stand in the way of persistently enjoying and appreciating one’s association with fellow human beings.

HENRY: There is a question of where there is love at play, as I have been getting some attention back from a girl I’m interested in, but I’m paying close attention. Experience will inform. In the meantime, enjoying this atmosphere, which I do recognize from PCEs. A sensation of circling the drain.

VINEETO: As Richard explained in detail, there is a way of bypassing love with sufficient naïveté when moving further into intimacy with one’s partner –

RICHARD: I also detailed how feeling-being ‘Grace’, who was exacting in evaluating ‘her’ differing ways of being a ‘self’, had gradations of scale in regards to intimacy (togetherness: → closeness: → sweetness: → richness: → magicality) – all of which correlated to the range of naïveness from being sincere to becoming naïve and all the way through being naïveté itself to an actual innocence – in the second and third paragraphs[1] following on from the above.

[1]What did not get included in those second and third paragraphs, regarding feeling-being ‘Grace’ and her rigorous gradations, was ‘her’ oft-repeated observation – regarding the onset of the third stage, on that range of naïveness, where ‘her’ gradation of ‘great’ related to sweetness [“delighting in the pervasive proximity, or immanence, of the other”] – about a bifurcation manifesting where the instinctual tendency/ temptation was to veer off in the direction of love and its affectuous intimacy (due to a self-centric attractiveness towards feeling affectionate) as contrasted to a conscious choice being required so as to somehow have that sweetness then segue into a naïve intimacy via what ‘she’ described as ‘richness’ [“a near-absence of agency; with the [sophisticate] doer abeyant, and the [naïve] beer ascendant, being the experiencing is inherently cornucopian”] and graded as ‘excellent’. [emphasis added]

MARTIN: What does that mean practically then Richard?

RICHARD: Essentially, what “that”meant practically for feeling-being ‘Grace’ was how ‘she’ needed to be fully alert, upon the emergence of (if not prior to) that third-stage ‘sweetness’[2], to the attractiveness of the feeling of affection/ of ‘self’-centrically being affectionate – so as to not instinctually veer off into the intimacy of love – and thereby remain steadfast with delighting in the physical proximity of the flesh-and-blood body typing these words. [emphasis added].

[2] This ‘sweetness’ is an emergent effect of that second-stage ‘closeness’ – which came about due to feeling sufficiently safe/ feeling secure enough, emotionally, to intuitively enable an inclusive expansion of viscerally-established personal boundaries (and which ‘closeness’ was an outcome of that first-stage ‘togetherness’ which had been engendered by the willingness to be and act in concert with another in the regular relationship/ companionship way of feeling intimate) – and is epitomised by its physical proximity (i.e., immanence) effect. (Richard, List D, Martin, 6 March 2016).

They key is to activate sufficient naïveness and naïveté and be attentive and “stay fully alert”, as Grace termed it, to the instinctual tendency of love and affection whose unpleasant side-effects most of us know so well.