Great to see you writing on the forum again and also that you report significant progress.

ADAM: Firstly, my interest in Actualism is still very much present. Other pursuits became dominant but my interest in Actualism and my ability to access pure intent has always been there

The desire to achieve wealth and the desire to mate (for lack of a better term) was so strong and all pervasive that I could not put them aside to give undivided attention to the actualism method.

VINEETO: It’s interesting that you should think that when there is a “desire to mate" (just to take one point for simplicity) that you cannot apply the actualism method on this topic. Yet this is exactly what Richard meant when he said –

Richard: “Actual freedom works in the market place ... there is no meditating in silence or living in a monastery shut away from the world. There are no celibacy or obedience requirements. […]” (Richard, Actual Freedom List, Irene, 6 October 1998).

In fact, I had several reports from a practicing actualist of having outstanding success how this very topic, the “desire to mate”, provided them with valuable insights to their affective ups and downs in their endeavour via paying diligent attention and affective awareness, and how sincere contemplation and ongoing affective attention revealed many secrets how their mind ticks on this issue and which triggers caused a diminishment to feeling good, which they then rectified with sensible action. They reported that a good dose of naiveté is invaluable help – i.e. to allow oneself to be naïve (even allow oneself to feel gauche or foolish), like a child again but with adult sensibilities. With naiveté they could then discover the see-saw of expectations and disappointments and replace them with more naïve and sensible choices.

For instance, you have the option, when experiencing strong desire, to experiment with neither suppressing nor expressing it but allowing the third alternative to hove into view (such as described here) (Richard, selected Correspondence, Aggression). 

In this way the strong affective/ instinctual energy can transition into naïve and felicitous affective energy.

ADAM: In terms of dating, I have developed some confidence and clarity in this area. […]

Not sure if these issues sound silly, but they seemed to direct so much of my attention.

So I look too feeling good and enjoying it and learning more about the human condition in me to make progress toward habitually being happy and harmless. There are some issues that I feel maybe only time and experience (such as learning the redundance of love) can solve but that doesn’t mean I can’t make progress toward being happy and harmless.

VINEETO: Of course, these issues are not “silly” at all as they are part and parcel of the core of the instinctual passions, and as such most people experience similar issues as yourself. It is excellent that you “developed some confidence and clarity in this area” and that you are now more confident to be able to pay attention to enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive and will be able to catch what triggers any diminishment of an ongoing enjoyment and appreciation.

It is such a thrilling adventure to explore how ‘I’ tick and move towards more and more feeling good -> feeling great in the sincere pursuit to further the habit of “being happy and harmless”.

Feeling being ‘Vineeto’ used to call it the best game in town.

Cheers Vineeto