Hypomania: 

It is more than a trifle odd for someone who self-describes, publicly, on the same day as this recording (i.e., 22 Jan 2016 in Message № 21740) as being ‘out from control’ as per actualism lingo – as well as writing of having an ‘extensive experience’ of pure consciousness experiences (PCE’s), of having an ‘extensive knowledge’ of the actual freedom writings, of having ‘spoken extensively’ with Richard, and of being thus ‘well prepared’ for the ‘Intimate Ambience Experiment’ which these recordings are a product of – to not have a current-time awareness of how they are experiencing this moment of being alive, each moment again, when the primary descriptors of being out-from-control is that it is of the nature of either an ongoing, and thus constantly dynamic, excellence experience (EE) or a similarly dynamic intimacy experience (IE).

In other words, someone genuinely out-from-control is constantly (i.e., consistently) ‘feeling excellent’, come-what-may, by the very nature of what that term refers to.

Secondly, needing to pause so as to consider the above ‘how are you feeling’ question reveals a current-time lack of awareness as to how the protagonist being thus queried is experiencing this moment of being alive, each moment again, regardless of whatever that experiencing might actually be.

Thirdly, for the protagonist to say they are ‘probably’ feeling whatever that experiencing might be indicates a distinct lack of ‘hands-on’ application of asking oneself ‘how am I experiencing this moment of being alive’ (i.e., such as to have it become ‘second-nature’ to be wordlessly aware, each moment again, just whereabouts on the entire affective scale one’s moment-to-moment experiencing is currently taking place).

Furthermore, as feeling better than ‘feeling excellent’ implies ‘feeling perfect’, it is pertinent to note how a scant four minutes later (at the 07:55 minute mark below) the protagonist voluntarily provides a report of ‘feeling better now’ – i.e., feeling better than [quote] ‘probably excellent, yeah’ [endquote], that is – yet a mere seven minutes thereafter (at the 14:53 minute mark further below) there is the unsolicited report of ‘feeling really good again’ (which indicates a more accurate response to the above ‘how are you feeling’ question would be one of a ‘not feeling really good’ nature).

Now, as the primary descriptors of being out-from-control is of it being in the nature of either a constantly/ consistently dynamic EE or IE then to be ‘not feeling really good’ of course implies ‘not being out-from-control’ at all.

Moreover, as ‘not being out-from-control’ also implies ‘not having a near-actual caring’ either the real question is: just what state of being is it, then, which the protagonist is currently experiencing?

A possible clue is to be found in a post from twelve days ago (12 Jan 2016; Message № 21544).

Viz.:

• [Alan]: ‘... given my history, I would definitely qualify as bipolar were I to place myself in the hands of the ‘sane’ psychiatrists (...)’. [endquote].

Now, whilst most certainly not being in the business of making amateurish psychiatric diagnoses – and especially not via email and chat message information – I do have more than a passing familiarity with both the hypomanic and manic phases characteristic of what is nowadays classified under some form of Bipolar Affective Disorder (BAD) through having lived with a woman of a hyperthymic temperament (hyperthymia as distinct from euthymia), for over a decade, plus interacting with more than a few persons officially diagnosed bipolar (a.k.a. ‘manic-depressive’) and, thus, under specialist treatment.

Thus I do know it is possible to slip into a hypomanic state whilst illuding oneself that it fits the criterion for ‘out-from-control’ as per actualism lingo – and I especially know this via gradually talking a person so afflicted back out of it over time – and one of the hallmarks is the initial difficulty in ‘reaching’ such a person (they are ‘out of reach’ of normal discourse) due to the certitude such a state imbues.

And therein lies the clue: the certitude of hypomania is no match for the certainty of the out-from-control way of being due to the latter being fuelled by pure intent (i.e., by actuality) – the former being a relatively mild delusory state born of the illusion of ‘being’ of course – and it was usually via appealing to the self-evident purity and perfection of the PCE that I could begin the process of successfully talking a person so afflicted back out it.

(In my experience a person in the manic phase of bipolar is unreachable, period, and it is only through that most-unfortunate state wearing-off, of its own accord (with or without medication), that normal discourse may recommence).

Incidentally, as there are warnings aplenty on The Actual Freedom Trust web site – about the likely danger of veering off into altered states (either of the spiritual or psychiatric variety) when one ventures beyond the norm ill-prepared – I have retired from talking any such person back out of those cul-de-sacs. (Richard, List D, Claudiu4, 24 January 2016, hypomanic).

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